San Diego Women Leaders Association Chapter Meeting: Am I Good Enough?

Hi everyone and uh happy St. Patrick's Day. Uh thank you leadership summit committee for hosting this um webinar and inviting me to uh share my journey. So my name is Jackie Ang and I work for Qualcomm uh for the last 24 years here in San Diego. I live in San Diego with my husband. I have two kids uh but they're grown and they're not in my house anymore and not on my payroll. So I'm very happy about that. Um so Qualcomm invents breakthrough technologies that transforms how the world connects, computes and uh communicates. Uh if you have a smartphone, it probably has a Qualcomm product in it and I hope you like it. My education and my background is in finance and accounting.
Uh throughout my career at Qualcomm, I had opportunities to move around. I worked in finance first. Um then I moved into supply chain operations uh project management and now I am director of compliance. Well, we are excited that you're here with us today. We have your slides pulled up. I'm controlling them from my side. So just say next slide and I'll keep up. So take it away. The floor is yours. I think you can just stay there. Um so um as the director of compliance I lead the global anti-corruption uh program supporting over 40,000 employees uh worldwide. Um my work is a key ingredient to the success of the company. We partner with employees about the importance of doing business ethically.
Uh we believe um an ethical company promotes a healthy work culture and employees are happier. So together with my team we provide policy compliance guidance to uh employees ensuring that they are aware of what they can do what they cannot do in carrying out their uh business objectives. I also serve on the board of Qualcomm's women's employee network as the treasurer. So our mission is to inspire diverse um organization by providing opportunities to encourage leadership, mentorship and career development for all women at Qualcomm as well as in our global communities. Outside of work, I am a fundraiser for the San Diego Imperial chapter of Alzheimer for the last three years and I'll be doing that again uh this year in October.
In my free time, I um try to work on improving my golf game. Uh I love to travel. Um I also love to learn home improvement skills. Uh so now um I wanted to share some stories with you uh about my journey. So I will never forget the first time I learned to drive a stick shift. Um if you are from Chicago or you visited Chicago, you are probably familiar with um the infamous Lexure Drive. So it was on a Friday night during rush hour on Lexure Drive. My husband was my teacher, my driver teacher. He always tells me he's the best driver. So okay. Um so anyway, he said just turn right at the light to get on Lexure Drive.
And I was waiting for um the light to turn green because Lakeshore Drive is kind of like a mini highway. Um but the people behind me were honking at me because there was a long gap between the traffic light and the cars that were coming towards the intersection. So they were honking and my husband was yelling at me, 'Go, go, go, come on, let's go.' So, so I went and uh well the cars that were that seemed like really far away, they caught up with me and I was like absolutely panicking. It's like oh my god, what do I do? They're right behind me. The headlights is shining my eyes. I cannot see but I cannot stop either because um if I did they would hit me and it will cause a huge accident.
So I just kept driving in first gear for a while. The engine was just like really really loud. Then I come down when the cars behind me finally passed by me and I started to change gear and the engine uh didn't make as much noise. So eventually we made it home in one piece literally. And when I got home I thought wow I was good enough to drive on the infamous Lakeshore Drive. So um that driving experience happened 40 years ago. Um, since then, um, I don't know how many times I have asked myself if I'm good enough. So, if you don't mind me asking you a couple questions and you know, you can put in chat or you can just um, keep to yourself.
It's like, when was uh, the last time that you asked yourself if you were good enough for something that you did at work or at home? And how many times do you ask yourself that question in a week and also in a month? So, next slide, please. So, I was born in Hong Kong. Um, I came to uh the US almost 40 years ago with one suitcase, very little money, like a $100. I had no family here. Um, and I didn't speak um a lot of English, but enough to get by. Um I was raised with traditional values which means women were typically homemakers and we support and we were trained not to disagree. So quietly brilliant.
So later on I learned that these traditional values were actually very common um across the globe. I am a first generation college graduate. When I was growing up, I didn't think about going to college um let alone what I wanted to do when I grow up. So my career journey has been sort of um like taking a scenic route um to get to where I am today. So my husband on the other hand is completely opposite. He and his siblings all graduate from college. um they work as lawyers, engineers, accountants, you know, general managers. They run their own business. And as you can imagine, I always felt intimidated talking to his family. These are what's the things that went on my head.
It's like, well, what if they talked to me about politics? And I wouldn't know how to respond. What if they asked me what I do? What if they asked me about my education? what would I say? So this was the main reason I felt necessary to get a degree to get an education to feel that I'm good enough to be part of the
family. So my first job was um an accounting clerk. Uh my salary was $15,000 a year, but I was uh proud of it because that was like a huge sum of money back then. And um nobody in my family probably imagine I made that much money. Um so I I worked hard. I did my best. I offered to take on more responsibilities than what I was hired to do. And I even bring in donuts once in a while because I wanted to be nice to everyone. I wanted to be good enough to meet everybody's expectations. And this trend kind of continues throughout my career. And um along the way, I kind of became a Wonder Woman.
And you all know Wonder Woman are those who feel they have to be anywhere that there's a gap. You know, I try to do more, try to do my best um every day. Um anyway, back to my accounting job. Um so, as much as I love that job, I only stayed there for one year. All my hard work translated into a 25 cents per hour increase in my um performance review. I was devastated because I thought I did a great job. I mean, after all, I did everything they needed me to do and I even brought in donuts. So, I said to myself, I must not have done a good job or good enough to earn a better raise.
So I left because I didn't feel appreciated and I didn't feel I was good enough um to be successful in that job. So as I progressed in my career, I always feel that um I can do more. I can do better in my work. Uh I remember how hard I tried um in my supply chain operations role. My job was to manage uh supply uh suppliers and contractors for the media flow national network uh buildout projects. It was a significant projects um huge in size and also in uh budget. My job was to ensure the equipment is on site and ready for installation. I've never done this before, but I wanted to try it because I feel this need that I need to prove I'm good enough to do something new.
So there was no formal job description and how I learned was by listening to my colleagues at meetings about their challenges and what stopped them from achieving their goals. And since my background was in finance, um I could feel the doubts in the room about what I can bring to the table and how I could help them. And my team was mainly uh men. Um so needless to say this um made me feel even more anxious and want to try even harder to prove that I can add value to the team and that I am good enough to be part of the team. So you know after a few months um on the job and I'm still looking for uh ways to prove myself I had a breakthrough.
Um so from uh my observations um lost equipment was a common issue that uh we encountered. There were many instances where equipment was missing because um the contractors did not um take care of the equipment. Uh equipment supposedingly delivered to the site but could not be found. All the equipment got lost in contractor's warehouse. So needless to say, installation has to be delayed and this impacted um the schedule and cost money. So using my finance background, I came up with a risk mitigation plan. Um I implemented um an asset tracking process uh where each contractor is responsible for equipment that they picked up from our warehouse until the equipment is delivered to the site in good condition.
So if for any reason the equipment went missing or damaged after they picked it up from the warehouse, they would be responsible for reimbursing Qualcomm. So I had to prove my plan to my management team before I could implement it. It wasn't an easy sell to um uh to the contractors either because um it could potentially eat into their margin. But eventually um I got buy in and the plan was implemented. uh the frequency of missing equipment decreased significantly because of this process and contractors they are much more careful about taking care of equipment. It was amazing how some a small change um that coupled with um financial accountability changed the behavior of um the contractors.
So I vividly remember um an incident where a contractor supposedingly uh lost a filter in their white house. So, a filter is not exactly a small piece of equipment in um in this uh uh uh uh network, but it is expensive. Um I told a contractor if they couldn't find it, they would have to pay for a replacement, which was about $15,000. So, after they knew the cost, um they turned the house the warehouse upside down to find that filter and luckily they found it. I was more happy than anybody else that they founded because it proved that my plan was good. Um, but you know, I didn't get that validation um that I needed from my team.
So, I wonder if my work uh was not good enough or maybe my plan wasn't really that good. I was it was just lucky that this happened. And also because the process was kind of straightforward and seemed like a no-brainer to me. Uh maybe because of my finance background. So I automatically thought that it wasn't a big deal. Um and I was just doing my job anybody else could have thought about it and therefore I didn't get the recognition that I thought I would get. So validation is important to me. Lack of validation leads to internalization and that is dangerous for me. When I internalize uh what I internalize may not be true. So um and in the process I had to diminish my own contribution.
Imagine that. Um so the point of sharing this story is that lack of validation doesn't mean that your work is not good enough. It doesn't mean that you are not good enough. It's just that people are not good at giving feedback and giving validation. So um so that's the point of the story. So on a personal front um my work has always been very demanding. Um just like all of you um working women out there, you know, your job demands a lot from you. And this is true especially when my kids were growing up. Um luckily my husband decided to stay home and took care of the kids and also the house. Um so and I don't know what I would do without him.
So demanding work means that I could uh attend only a couple of school events during the year. And the way that I spend time with my kids was taking them to the office on the weekend or you know we all sit at the table doing work and they do their homework together. I was working so many hours that I didn't have time to think about what I was sacrificing for work. So, it hit me one day when I introduced myself to another mom at a cross-country event. She said to me, 'Oh, I didn't know Victoria has a mom.' Victoria is my daughter. I actually need to thank that mom because she made me realize that I was missing in my kids' life.
I can't imagine what my kids were going through. you know, they were probably really embarrassed that, you know, her mom was never present at in the event. But as much as I wanted to change, um, I couldn't because my work was important because I need my job to support my family. So, as the years go by, um I I I tell myself the time that I s spent with my kids uh was quality, no matter how short or where. They appreciate me and they enjoy being with me when when we were together. So, my kids are grown now. Um my daughter is an engineer and my son is an auditor. So, they both um have very good work ethics and I'm very proud of them.
Um they have the tenacity that I had. Um we are good friends now. You know they asked me for help with their work related issues um office politics um career development. And this makes me happy because it's evidence that I'm good enough to raise two good human beings while working a demanding job. But I have to say now um the table has turned. um now they don't have time for me because you know they're super busy with their work. Uh but the time that we have together is always quality just like the old days. So I wanted to share this story with you because many of us are struggling to balance uh between work and personal obligations and I wanted you to know that you're not alone.
So having it all is possible. Um if you define what all or balance is to you um you're good enough to have it all. Uh so next slide please. So today I still ask myself if I'm good enough but not as often. Uh and what I'm doing to convince myself I'm good enough is um I set goals. I realize that my goals don't always have to tie to work or be lofty. Now I set smaller and personal goals. Uh for example, I took a trip with my son to Peru and we hiked the Inca trail to Machu Picchu. never camped before, never hiked this um amount of um uh stone paths. So, if you've done that hike, you know how difficult it was.
Um I think that was a turning point for me after that trip because when I came back from it, I felt energized. I felt that I was good enough to do anything. So some of the small things that I did to build my belief that I am good enough um I learned to change out some visor in my car. I made low no so blankets um I uh do a few house repairs um and when I achieve this goal I tell myself great job you know I give myself feedback that I'm good enough um to uh to do it. So the more the goals I achieve, I develop more confidence in myself and I feel good enough speaking up.
I realize that if I if I want something, if I want people to know my experience, I need to speak up. I used to regret not speaking up only to hear somebody else told the same idea. Um if um you know it could have been, you know, that could have been me, but I was too busy thinking and telling myself that I'm sure everybody knows and my idea was no big deal. Well, I was wrong, so now I'm speaking up more at meetings, sharing ideas. And then lastly, finding advocates. Advocates are people who speak up for you. They lift you up. They believe in you. And because most of mo most of us are not good at telling people how good we are.
Your advocate can do that for you. So, I learned yesterday that um it's not bragging if it's based on facts. So, I have an advocate. Um she believes in me. She lifts me up to where I am today and I'm glad I reach out for help. Um, so next slide please. Um, call to action. So how can we instill confidence in someone? So one is tell them to stop asking if they're good enough. We're all good enough because we define what that is. It's about being good enough for yourself, not for somebody else. So, of the few books that I read to my kids, um the mixup chameleon was my favorite. The point of that story was we can't please everyone.
When we try, we fail at everything. So, we need to define what is good enough for ourselves, not for anybody. Two is um encourage them. Anyone is in a position to encourage somebody. Give them feedback. Give them feedback that they can use to validate their contribution and their achievements. They will thank you. and then pay it forward. Um be somebody's advocate. Um anyone can be advocate. You know, it can be something as simple as acknowledging their accomplishments. Um which you know give them validations um either privately or in the meetings and then share your story so that they don't feel alone. Um in return it will confirm that you are not alone as well. Um next slide please.
So, thank you for listening to my journey. I hope that it was helpful. And um if you ask yourself if you're good enough, the answer is you are good enough. And um and now I will turn Mike back to uh the moderator. Thank you very much. Well, Jackie, thank you so much for that presentation. A lot to think about and thank you for sharing your journey. So, as if anybody would like to ask Jackie a live question, you can raise your hand and I can unmute you. But if not, please keep those questions coming into the chat. Um, I'll start with this one. This is fun. This one said, 'Any tips on building confidence? I see some of my new team members struggling.'
Yeah. Um, you know, that is something that I struggle a lot too. Um, I do small things. Um and uh and when I succeed in them, I don't wait for people to tell me that I did a good job. I tell myself that I did a good job. Um just reminding myself um that I am capable. Um I am good enough. Um that's that's what I do. Um that's kind of like my mentor. I'm good enough. You know, I'm a champion. Um that's what I do to build up my confidence. And I hope that helps. That's wonderful. Thank you. Well, here's an interesting conver. Um, we've had a lot of questions that have come in about women and culture.
So, we'll start with this one. This one says, 'Do you think women are more cultured to not be confident and what can we do to retrain ourselves?' Um, you know, that is an excellent question and to be honest, that's is me. It's been me for a long time. Um, and I think culture has a lot to do with it. Um, but you know, I need to be careful because I can't say that it's just my culture because as I was growing up, as I mentioned in my presentation, it is very common across the globe. It's not just one culture, it's across. Occasionally you will find um a few women who are over who are confident and they they have it but it's not common.
Um and I do think that it has to do with the way that we're brought up as well. Um the way I was brought up is very different from how I um uh bring up my children. Um I teach my kids to um think about them themselves first. Do what's good for them. um they need to speak up. Those are not the things that I learned from that I was brought up with. That's not the things that um my friends did when we were growing up. Um so I I do think that um by teaching my kids uh what I know, I think I am preparing them to be more confident in um their work and also in their personal life.
So, I don't know that I hope that answers the question. It does. Thank you. Well, I think we'll go with two more questions for the evening and then we'll wrap for the afternoon. We'll ask you for some final advice. This question came from Estelina and she said, 'Can you give advice and an example of how and when to negotiate salary andor ask for promotion?' So, there is not a magic formula to do that unfortunately. Um so to ask for um to negotiate for uh salary and also promotion, I think we need to do and this is um something that I work with my kids on a lot is do some research on um the internet with someone with a position or somebody else that has similar uh education background credential and the scope of work is uh your responsibility.
is similar. Uh you have to take into you know the locality um and see where you know what the uh the market rate is. I think this information is available in you know internet indeed.com um there's another one I cannot remember I was just looking at that site the other day that they will give you like a range of um pay uh uh from you know the range and depending on your years experience that kind of should give you some idea and then you could go back and see if that's comparable to uh what you're making right now. Um, and then you could go from there negotiate. Um, but I also wanted to make sure that um, it's not always a yes, but at least you're speaking up.
You are letting your manager know that you feel um, underpay that you need to you you wanted to have a review of your uh, salary to make sure that is in line with market. And then as far as promotion, um what I do is um I look at my job description if you have one when you first begin your your your role and see maybe you just have like maybe five main area of responsibilities and then as you grow it might not be five anymore. It may be seven or eight. You may be doing uh work that are at the higher level. So you need to document that. You need to um document all your contribution and your accomplishment.
And this is something that we don't do enough. And um and this is something that I tell my team as well as my kids to do all the time is list down your accomplishment because when time for a performance review, you will have a nice list of accomplishment that you wanted to share. You don't want to share all like 50 of them. share the key ones because um those are the ones that will provide most justification, compelling justification for you to be promoted and then also look at the leveling chart. What is the next level look like that you need to get to? What kind of experience do you need to have? And then kind of map that to your accomplishment and your work and then you have a nice summary of justification for promotion.
Well, that's wonderful. Well, I think I'll let this be our last question for the afternoon, then we'll ask you for some final thoughts. This one came from Brooke, and she said, 'You mentioned your mentor and how she helped you and lifted you up. Have you had more than one throughout your career, and have you served as a mentor to others?' Um so I have served as mentor to others and I share um my my experience uh because like I mentioned earlier sometimes when we share our stories you make uh the other person feel that they are not alone and you empower them to um to do something about it based on your experience. Um I let me think about my mentors.
Um I have many um silent mentors. So those are the ones that um I observe of what they do, how they um behave, how they conduct their themselves at meetings, at work, how they treat other people. I remember vividly my very first manager um I you know she used to come around at 8:00 and you know we were in cubicles she used to walk around and um and say hi to everybody good morning and one day I said wow you know that's really nice that you take time out of your busy day to come around and talk to everybody and then she shared a secret with me she said um well I wanted to see who is there 8:00 And I thought, 'Wow, that was a really good idea.' Um because she is um you know wanting to know who is doing their work but but she's not saying out loud.
So but in you know but um in return she makes people feel that she cares about them. So that's something that I learned from her and that's something that um I also do um not so much to you know check whether my employees comes into work at the right time or they leave at five because nowadays um you know we all work flex hours so that doesn't matter you know but uh 30 years ago that wasn't the case um so I I have a mentor that um is my manager you know she's very very very good advocate for me and for women out there. Um I can't thank her enough. Um she encouraged me to speak up, encouraged me to push the envelope and um take risk.
So um I am just really fortunate that I reach out and I met her. Um so I hope that answers uh your question. Oh, that's wonderful. I wrote that down. I like silent mentor. That's wonderful to have. Just people you look up to. So as we end for the afternoon, do you have any final advice for our listeners today? Um I think that we need to believe in ourselves. Um we need to define our success and our journey. Um and don't let anybody like Helen said, don't let anybody tell you that um you are not good enough or you are lesser than anybody because we're not. We are good enough. Uh, and we have many things that we demonstrate and many evidence to show our successes.
So, be confident, believe in yourself, um, do what's best for you. All right. Well, Jackie, thank you so much for your time this afternoon. Thank you. So, thank you to all of our speakers today, both our panel members and our keynote speakers. And thank you to all our listeners as well. Without all of you, these events would not be possible. So, let's continue to support women's leadership and learn from one another. So, be safe, be kind to yourselves, and be well. Until next time, this is Ginger Wattley signing off. Have a great evening, everyone.